Germany

Thirty years ago, one was not considered truly educated, especially in the sciences, if one did not speak German. Today German is still a fine language, but – like Danish, Dutch and Greek – spoken only at home among friends, being replaced by ubiquitous English.

Germany came to the English Midlands this Christmas – in the attractive and traditional form of the Frankfurt Christmas Fair in the centre of Birmingham. Now, why on earth weren't Goering and the Luftwaffe thinking along similar lines sixty years ago...Think of all the decades of friendship and mutual admiration that we missed as a result of mistaking the efficacy of Xmas decorations and lovely warm gluehwein for that of cold bombs and rockets.

I dislike Germany, being a German. it's part of the national identity. Honestly, there's nothing much to like about us, is there?

Another funny thing about Germany is the fact, that it is allowed to consume THC and every crappy town has got his own head shop, where you can buy anything you need even to zip your coke off the mirror, but it is strictly forbidden to own, buy or sell the shit ...

in germany there are hedgehogs. they are called igel, they eat currywurst from the streets, (not the igel) but the man. in germany there are many kinds of small bread called broetchen. they have seeds and sometimes are tied in knots. in germany the strawberries are really good. in germany there are many kinds of beer. and spargle grows in the spargle season. it gets longer each time i go there. don't forget to peel it. in germany, it is all about meat. meat meat meat and no mustard. people are very open minded and all love each other with selfless passion.
in germany some people don't eat vegetables. in germany it is ok to have gingerbread on your wurst at christmastime. in germnay you can also burp and people don't think that is particularly rude. in germany there is quite a bit of accordian playing, but they don't like to admit it. in fact, some people run away from the street side accordian players. in germany there are many people who say oh, i can't speak english, but do so perfectly. in germany you can eat a lot of good food, and gain a lot of weight. in germany you can stay slim by biking and walking everywhere as there are many sidewalks and bikeways to accomadate that lifestyle. in germany artists are considered very important people, unless you are a painter. there are not many painters in germany at this time. in germany you can live up north and not wear lederhosen. in germany you can live in bavaria and not say tschuss.
in germany there are many different small cars such as smarts and twingos. neither of these however are made in germany. they also are rarely found in the left lanes of the autobahn. in germany i found love.

What a strange country. I happen to live there. I happen to be German. It doesn't matter a little bit to me. I always thought of patriotism as rather disturbing, and whenever I see any Americans, Brits, French, Turks, Italians, or whoever, go all crazy, wave flags, dance around and get ecstatic about anythin patriotic, I just shake my head and think: What's so great about belonging to any nation? Nations are just some historical fiction! We're one species, called Homo sapiens.